Five questions to ask yourself before a big decision
Thoughtful leadership means knowing when you're deciding, and when an old belief is deciding for you. This short exercise helps you tell the difference.
Most leaders think they make decisions based on data. In reality, a lot happens before the data is even considered. Our minds quickly label a situation as safe or risky, and that label comes from experience and beliefs we're mostly not aware of.
"Ninety-five percent of thinking takes place in our unconscious minds."Gerald Zaltman, Harvard Business School, How Customers Think, 2003
That doesn't mean intuition is wrong. Often it's valuable. But when a decision feels unusually heavy, or you keep putting it off, it's worth checking whether a belief from the past is steering you.
The five questions
Take five minutes, a pen and a quiet room. Write the decision at the top of the page, then answer these honestly.
- What am I afraid will happen? Be specific. "I'll lose the team's respect" is more useful than "it might go badly."
- Whose voice is this? Does the fear sound like you today, or like a parent, a former boss or an earlier version of you?
- Is this belief true here and now? What evidence do you have in this situation, with these people?
- What would I decide if that fear weren't there? Write the answer down, even if you're not ready to act on it.
- What's one small step I can take this week? Change starts with a step small enough that the fear doesn't block it.
Why this works
Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has spent decades studying how the beliefs we hold about ourselves shape what we do:
"The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life."Carol Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, 2006
The five questions slow your thinking down long enough to notice the view you've adopted. Once a belief is visible, you can decide whether to keep it. That's what makes a leader thoughtful: not having no fears, but knowing which ones to listen to.
Try it with your team
This exercise also works for leadership teams. Before a major decision, ask each person to answer question 1 privately, then share the answers anonymously. Teams are often surprised to find they've been avoiding the same fear.
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